Halloween is close. You can hear it in the wind that tears the fading leaves from the trees on your street. You feel it in the chill air. And, for those of us who are dads, you see it in your kids’ rooms, where flimsy masks, polyester costumes, and garish plastic pumpkins with handles are lined up by the door ready to be filled. The excitement is palpable. Free candy. Who wouldn’t be excited?
Some dads can get away with just walking along with the kids while they trick or treat. You CAN get away with it, but you shouldn’t. It’s the big night! Once a year, you get to dress up more than you did on your wedding day—or your best buddy’s wedding day—or pretty much any day in your life.
If you aren’t a dad, you ARE dressing up. It’s just a given. You have a party to attend. Somewhere. Someone at the office is throwing a bash—or maybe the office itself. Or a neighbor. Don’t be the guy who goes in a pair of jeans and a T-shirt and claims to be going as a college student. That’s not clever or creative or even funny.
Your friends at Veppo understand the struggle of putting together a last-minute costume. Before we gave up on denying the ageless draw of costumes, we were like you…tottering on the edge of staying home, where we watch Nightmare on Elm Street for the 700thtime and pretending not to be a little creeped out at Freddy Kruger. We know the last minute Hail Mary play that you are contemplating. We don’t mean dressing up as a nun, though that would get you some serious fist bumps at just about any party having to figure out a last minute plan. No, we mean the “going as nothing” gambit.
So, to keep you in the running for the Coolest Dad or Cleverest Coworker, here are some easy costumes that you can probably find in your closet. Better still, they will work great together great with an e-Cig or E-Cigar.
1. James Dean
James Dean brought cool to a whole new level, and he did it with simplicity that most of us can copy with stuff in our closets. No special purchases required! You’ll be a Rebel Without a Cause in no time.
- Clean white shirt: Tucked in, if it has longer sleeves roll them up short.
- Blue jeans: Faded is better but not necessary.
- Black leather shoes: Pretty much any simple black shoe will work.
- Hair product of some sort: Slick the hair up and back.
Additions and notes:
- Red or leather jacket
- Old school round watch
- Don’t wear a belt
2-3. Any Reservoir Dog or Hitman from “Pulp Fiction”
Quentin Tarantino clearly loved his characters in black suites. Do you have a black suite? Bust it out! A suit hides all manner of flaws, so not only will you look cool and sophisticated, but you will be happy to avoid anything embarrassingly Spandex-related. All of these characters outfits are pretty much the same, so just pick which one fits your persona, hair and skin tone. If you go Reservoir Dog, make sure add some black sunglasses!
- Black blazer and pants: Just has to be black.
- White Button up: Depending on what you like.
- Black tie: The skinnier the better.
- Nice black shoes : Cleaner or bloody depending on what you’re going for.
- Fake handgun
4. American Psycho
Halloween costumes have taken a departure away from scary. But who wants to be a Halloween cop or Caitlin Jenner? You need a little, you know, FRIGHT in your fright night. This costume does a good job of splitting the difference and giving you the ability to get a little psycho if you’re feeling it.
- Black suite: Pinstripe is best but black will do just fine.
- Blue shirt: He wore a blue with a white collar. If you don’t have it just go plain blue.
- Suspenders: Any dark color will work.
- Red tie: Patterned or not patterned is fine.
- Fake axe
- Fake blood
- Gold watch
- Huly Lewis and the News CD if you have it laying around. (Admit it. You do.)
5. Tony Soprano
Classic Italian American Tony Soprano keep his look simple but signature in a few ways. Tony was all over the fashion map. You can go full-steam ahead and wear his double-breasted suit, but we think that’s maybe overkill (no pun intended). Tony had some lower-key looks, some classically New Jersey Guido and some a little less stereotypical. All feature what Jackie Aprile’s daughter in Season 2 called “see through socks”. They are a Sopranos’ classic. Tony had a few different style variations, which opens up a bunch of options. The most important part when dressing up as Tony is your New Jersey Italian accent!
- Golf Shirt: He wore shade or tan colored collared shirts. The best is horizontal stripes “bowling shirt” but if you have any subtle pattern collar shirt or one of those 80’s patterned polos that’ll work too!
- Slacks: In some shade of tan, black or grey. Must be different than shade of shirt.
- Socks: Black or brown.
- Leather Shoes: Nice and clean.
- Gold watch
- Gold chain