It started when I switched to Veppo Vaporizers around 2 years ago.
I, like the majority of those that make the defining switch, felt vindicated and alive again. With the health improvements I felt, to not stinking like a bonfire, my life was transforming for the better.
So I started to sing from the rooftops about it to anyone and their dog
“Vaping is much better for you”
“It is cheaper”
“You can smoke them anywhere”.
It was this third comment I used to utter that really got me thinking. Can you smoke them anywhere? In a submarine? In space? On a plane? Now this third one was actually something that I could try but I had to be sure.
First of all I practiced with my smoke alarm at home, blowing endless clouds of vapor into the contraption whilst my girlfriend looked at me with a vacant smile, planning how she was going to leave me very shortly.
As you guessed it, nothing happened (the girlfriend did leave however but that is insignificant in this tale), plume after plume hit the sensors in the smoke detector and not a sound peeped from it so I was ready as far as I was concerned and had a flight booked to NYC in the fortnight following so with my confidence “skyhigh” (like that one?) I started to boast to friends about my impending mission.
That is where the fears started to rear it’s ugly head.
Many said “What if the smoke alarms on planes have better sensors?”
“What if it goes off? Isn’t that a $5,000 penalty?”
“Won’t they ban you from flying?!?” was one sentence that certainly scared the crap out me.
The other thing that particularly perturbed me is that I have a Muslim name on my passport, now I have nothing against organized religion (well I do, however this isn’t the blog post to divulge those particular views, maybe another time) but I don’t practice. Knowing fully how well treated Muslims have been by our friends at immigration in the past I was petrified that I might get caught vaping and waterboarded in Guantanamo for the rest of my life for trying to blow up a plane with an Apple/Menthol 50/50 mix Veppo Vault Vaporizer.
OK, so my mind was on overdrive but I still knew I had to try this so I began scouring the internet for others who had tried this but it was still early in the day for Vapers so i couldn’t find much. In the end I decided that I just had to try a quick blast in the toilet cubicle and then if I encountered no problems I could up the intake as much as i saw fit.
As we approached the airport I started to clam up, and began dripping with sweat looking like a lobster clinging on for dear life over a pan of boiling water. Then I realized one important thing.
The vaporizer contained liquid.
Would I even get it through the first checkpoint! How could I forget this??!?!?!
My ex girlfriend was now looking at a man on death row. I didn’t have my carry case at this point so it was just in my pocket and I had no idea what to do!
I contemplated shifting it into my ex girlfriends pocket and screaming “Bomb!!!” whilst pointing at her, something I kinda wish I did now, but alas, it was way too late for theatrics. I emptied my pockets into the grey tray of doom and watched my fate disappear behind the rubber ribbons of despair…I crawled through the metal detector and waited for chains to placed all over me.
Instead absolutely nothing happened. Nothing! I collected my things and 80% of my body off the floor and moved on. I didn’t even get patted down!!! Wowzers, was I winning?! Was this actually going to happen?!?
We made our way “into” the plane not “on” the plane, as the late George Carlin once said “Let Evel Knievel get ON the plane!!” and with my confidence rocketing I waited with mischievous glee for the plane to take off and for the seatbelt sign to extinguish so that I could make my way to the closet known as the bathroom.
Eventually the time arrived. Seated in our “too close for stranger comfort” seats and with a loving clutch of my exes hand I went for it.
With “Ecstasy and the Gold” by Ennio Morricone running through my mind I walked up the bathroom and closed the door behind me. Occupied.
I slowly took The VAULT out of my pocket and took a tiny inhalation and blew directly onto the floor.
Nothing occurred, so I took a slighter larger puff and did the same again. Nothing happened again, so I did this for a while until I was smoking my vaporizer as normal, damn I even started to blow the vapor around everywhere, cocky little shit that I am! I was vaping at 3oooo ft!
I can safely say that absolutely nothing happened to me that day and I am not writing you this from Guantanamo Bay.
Since then on long haul flights at night time when all cabin lights have been switched off I have even placed the complimentary blanket over my head and vaped in my seat blowing the vapor down my shirt.
Perhaps I am lucky, or perhaps because NO smoke is present there is no real issue with this and this tale is just a silly jaunt. However tread with caution if you choose to follow in my footsteps. I can tell you one thing though; it certainly makes long haul flights a lot more adventuresome and fun. Even if it does lose you your girlfriend ;).
Written by: Taz (last name withheld)
POST NOTE for all the legal peeps: Veppo does not encourage or endorse vaping where it is strictly prohibited or against the law.
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